


All Roads Lead Me Back to You

by victoria_p (musesfool)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 5 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 01:56:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3551747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musesfool/pseuds/victoria_p
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six ways it could have ended less tragically.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Roads Lead Me Back to You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Laura](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laura/gifts).



> For Laura on her birthday. All Nichole's fault. Thanks to her for looking it over. Some lines cribbed from OotP in the last section.

i.

"I think the Death Eaters are onto me," Sirius confesses when he meets with James and Lily. "I think we should make a switch, make Peter the Secret Keeper, and let me be the decoy."

"I don't like it," Lily says immediately. "I don't like putting you both in danger like that."

James puts his hand over hers. "If you're having second thoughts--"

"No," Sirius says. "I'm not afraid for myself. I just--" He doesn't want to say it. None of them want to say it, say that there's a mole in the Order and that it might just be Remus.

"Dumbledore has contingencies in place," Lily says. "He's already arranged to have you spirited away. Peter's got his mum and sisters to look after." She trails off, but Sirius knows she means that Peter has family to protect and Sirius, well, James and Lily and Harry _are_ his family now.  And Remus, a voice in the back of his head whispers, but he tries to ignore it. While they never officially broke up, they certainly aren't together anymore, not with the way Sirius suspects everything Remus says and does, and Remus keeps his secrets the way he always has, the way Sirius'd thought he wouldn't anymore. 

"Okay," Sirius says reluctantly. He takes a deep breath. "Let's do this."

Once the Fidelius is cast, he Floos to the Hog's Head and finds Dumbledore waiting for him. "This way," the old man says, leading him through a secret passageway that even he and James hadn't discovered. Sirius wonders if it's new. 

There's someone waiting at the end of it, a familiar figure that coalesces into Remus as they get closer. "Mr. Lupin will take you somewhere safe," Dumbledore says. 

"Safe?" Sirius asks, tamping down his surprise.

"As safe as anywhere is these days," Remus says with a half-shrug and a wry twist of his lips. "I've been scouting out places since Albus told me the plan."

"That's why you've been gone so often."

"One reason, yes."

"Remus has been a very valuable asset to the Order," Dumbledore says. "I'm sure he'll take good care of you, Sirius." Then he apparates away.

"We've got a long trip ahead of us," Remus says. "Are you ready?" He doesn't say, Do you trust me? but Sirius hears it anyway.

"Yeah," Sirius says. "Of course."

Remus leads him through six or seven different places before they end up on a beach somewhere in daylight. 

"Where?"

"New Zealand," Remus answers. "I think you'll be safest as Padfoot for a while, to be honest." He looks apologetic but Sirius is already transforming, always happy to romp in the sand and the sea in dog form.

They get word three days later that Voldemort killed Alice and Frank Longbottom, but that baby Neville somehow defeated him. 

"Come on, Sirius. It's time to go home."

Sirius shifts back to his human form and pulls Remus into a long, sloppy kiss before they apparate back to Hogsmeade, and then to Godric's Hollow, where James and Lily and Harry are waiting.

*

ii.

Sirius knows all the reasons he's not supposed to trust Remus. They're the same bollocks they always were, and he's never paid attention to them before. According to the Order, he's not supposed to trust anyone anymore except James and Lily and Dumbledore, but now they're trusting _Peter_ more than Remus, and something in his soul rebels against that, because Peter's not the one he comes home to, sleeps beside, wants to spend the rest of his life with. Because he already dies a little bit inside each time he lies or keeps a secret that he once would have shared.

The bottle of firewhisky is half-empty when Remus comes home, shaking rain out of his hair, his worn corduroy jacket too thin for the late October chill. He looks surprised to find Sirius slumped at the table, bottle in hand.

"Thought you had a meeting tonight," he says.

"Yeah," Sirius replies. Remus is less than three feet away from him, but with the secret he's holding it feels more like a million miles. 

"Any news?" Remus's voice is neutral, mild, and only someone who knows him as well as Sirius does would hear the strain in it.

Sirius shrugs a shoulder. "'S my last night. We're doing the Fidelius tomorrow." Even that's more than he's supposed to reveal, but Remus nods like he already knows. Of course, they were all good at pretending to know what was going on when they hadn't got a clue--it had been a key component to their success as pranksters in school, and that had carried over to the war, at least at first.

Remus sits down at the table and gestures for the bottle. Sirius gives it to him and he takes a long drink. The movement of his throat is mesmerizing. "I'm going to miss you."

"I already miss you," Sirius says. Things are bad if Remus is willing to say something like that sober. "I can't--I can't do this, Moony."

"You're one of the bravest people I know," Remus answers, putting a hand on Sirius's shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "And I--"

"It's not me," Sirius blurts, stricken. "It's Peter. Peter's the Secret Keeper. We switched because I thought people--the Death Eaters were onto me."

Remus goes still, except for his fingers tightening on Sirius's shoulder again. "Oh, Padfoot." His voice is unendurably sad. "How much trouble are you going to be in for telling me that?"

Sirius grabs the firewhisky bottle and takes a reckless swig. He's had enough that it doesn't burn going down anymore, just feels warm and comforting. "None, if you keep it to yourself."

"Of course," Remus whispers, leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to Sirius's lips. "You can obliviate me if you need to."

"I would never," Sirius answers fervently, though the thought had crossed his mind as soon as the words had passed his lips.

Remus kisses him again, hard and fierce this time. They fuck right there, on the rickety kitchen table that rattles with every thrust, and Sirius feels lighter than he has in months, weightless and ecstatic when he comes.

Two days later, James and Lily and twelve muggles in the street are dead, but so is Voldemort, and Peter is in Ministry custody as a traitor. Remus spirits Harry away from his aunt's house before she discovers him, and the three of them settle in New Orleans to mourn and start over, far away from anyone who knows them.

*

iii.

Remus is still staring at the front page of the Daily Prophet when he hears the Aurors on the stairs. The fact that they didn't apparate right into his bedsit means they probably only want him for questioning. He could disappear, he has bolt holes and safe houses around the world now, part of his work for the Order, but he needs to know the truth, needs to convince Dumbledore, the Ministry, the _world_ (himself) that the Prophet's got the wrong end of the stick again, as per usual.

They're more polite than he expects, keeping the manhandling to a minimum, and Remus wonders if that's on Dumbledore's orders or if it's his close association with the known madman Sirius Black that makes them careful. Maybe it's just the fear of contagion--wizards have never been the most rational people, and that goes doubly when dealing with werewolves.

They drop him in a tiny room somewhere in the warren of offices that make up Auror headquarters and leave him there long enough for him to think things through. His mind shies away from thinking of James Lily (and Peter?) as dead, about wondering what's happening to baby Harry, so he forces himself to think of Sirius instead. He's read the story numerous times, seen the evidence of Sirius's own words as the Aurors dragged him away, but he still can't _believe_ it. He _knows_ Sirius, as well as any human being can known any other one, at least, and while Remus has always expected Sirius to leave him, to realize how much better off he'd be with someone who wasn't a pariah in their society, he can't conceive of Sirius turning on _James_. It's unprecedented, and his brain refuses to accept it.

"It's not true," he says when Dumbledore walks in, flanked by Moody and McGonagall. "Sirius would never betray James."

"He was the Secret Keeper," Dumbledore says gravely, and for once, there is no jolly twinkle in his eyes. 

"You know there was a mole in the Order," Remus insists. "It could have been anyone."

"He confessed," Moody growls. "Blood will out."

"Bullshit," Remus says, goaded. "If you believe that, then we're no better than the Death Eaters."

"Mr. Lupin," McGonagall says, "do you have any proof that it wasn't Mr. Black?" She sounds exhausted. Sirius was always her favorite.

"Not as such," he admits. "But I would have known. We were--" He licks his lips. "Close."

"Ah, yes," Dumbledore says sadly. "Young love."

"He thought I--We were suspicious of each other," Remus says desperately. "I knew there was something he wasn't telling me, and I--There were so many things I couldn't tell him." All those trips to visit other werewolves, all that time wasted. 

"He killed Pettigrew as well," McGonagall says.

"Did he?" Remus asks. "Or did Peter just scuttle off into the sewers the way he always did when there was trouble?" 

McGonagall gives him a sharp look, no doubt recalling Peter's absence any number of times when he and James and Sirius got caught. "What?"

He bites his lip, and decides the time for discretion is past. "Peter and Sirius are both animagi. James, too." He looks down at his hands, twisting together in his lap. "They learned for me."

"Impossible," Moody says, but McGonagall and Dumbledore know better. They know what James and Sirius are capable of.

"And Peter's animagus form is what?" McGonagall asks, her voice like a whip.

"A rat," Remus says, his voice gone ragged and hoarse. He's not going to cry again, not here. Not until he's seen Sirius for himself.

Dumbledore and McGonagall exchange glances and then they're off to see Sirius, locked up in a cell in the dungeon beneath the building, awaiting transport to Azkaban.

"Moony, no," he roars when he sees them. "It's nothing to do with him, you fuckers. Let him go."

"Shut up," Remus snaps, as sharp as McGonagall now. "Tell the truth, Sirius. What happened?"

"It's my fault, Moony. All my fault," Sirius says, white-knuckled fingers clutching the bars of the cell. His hair is a mess and he looks every inch the madman the Prophet painted him. Moody grumbles something but Remus keeps his eyes on Sirius. "I convinced them to switch to Peter, and that _rat_ sold them out to Voldemort." His voice rises. "I'm going to kill that little fucker, see if I don't."

"Mr. Black," McGonagall says, and that seems to snap Sirius back to his senses, though he still looks angry enough to spit nails. "Will you take Veritaserum and tell us again what happened?"

"Yes," he says. "Of course."

The truth isn't any easier to hear than the lies had been, but when the telling of it is finally done, Sirius is freed from his shackles. Remus sweeps him into a hug and they sob all over each other for a few moments before Sirius pulls back and mouths, "Thank you," at him.

There's still Harry to sort out and Peter to find, but Remus is sure that with Sirius at his side, they'll make it all work out.

*

iv.

It's difficult being back at Hogwarts, and especially strange to be back as a professor. So many things have changed and yet so many are still the same. He confiscates the map from Harry before Snape can get hold of it--Snape might not be a Death Eater anymore (and Remus is not so sure that's so) and he might be the one providing the Wolfsbane potion every month, but he's still a very present thorn in Remus's side.

Remus puts the map away, refuses to spend his nights poring over it as if he is still sixteen and the others are going to pop out of one of the secret passages to surprise him on his prefect's rounds. 

Still, the pull of the past is strong, and he yearns for a time before James and Peter were dead at Sirius's hand, for a time when they were closer than brothers, and he believed they always would be. He's getting maudlin in his old age, he thinks, but on the evening of the full moon, he can't help himself. He pulls the map out and traces Harry's movements, almost always in company with the Weasley boy and the Granger girl.

Then he sees Peter's name on the map with them and he barks his knees on the underside of the desk in his rush to stand up. The forgotten goblet of Wolfsbane potion sloshes a little and he shoots out a hand to steady it. He frowns then, and brings the goblet up to his mouth. The potion tastes terrible, because god forbid Snape add some cinnamon or ginger or something to make it palatable, but he gulps it down before he hurries off to find out what the hell is going on out at the Shrieking Shack.

In the morning, when Peter's been led away in shackles and Sirius is clutching Harry like he might never let him go, Remus murmurs a small prayer of thanks to the universe that he remembered to take the potion. 

*

v.

Remus hesitates when Tonks splits them up on the Knight Bus. He leans in close to Harry and asks, "Did Sirius give it to you?"

"What?" Harry asks, confused.

"The mirror."

"The what? Oh." He touches his jacket pocket and says, "Is that what it is?"

"Yeah, he and your dad used them all the time when we were young. If you need anything--"

"Oi, Lupin," Tonks calls.

"Anything," Remus whispers urgently. "Don't hesitate to call. Sirius or I will always have it with us."

"Okay," Harry says dubiously. That's Lily's skepticism, Remus thinks as he moves to sit with Ginny and the twins. He hopes Harry's own desire to be close with Sirius overcomes any qualms he has about using the mirror.

But Harry doesn't use the mirror, and Sirius doesn't want to push him. (Everyone else, or Molly at least, thinks Sirius has confused Harry with James, but Remus knows better--Sirius would never have let James alone the way he has Harry.)

It's five o'clock in the evening when they finally hear Harry's voice, frantically calling Sirius's name. "SIRIUS, ARE YOU OKAY?"

"There's no need to yell," Sirius says, though he's smiling broadly as he pulls the mirror out of his pocket.

Remus can hear Ron in the background saying, "Ask him if he's being tortured by Voldemort," and Hermione's, "Honestly, Ron," in reply.

"No," Sirius says, his smile disappearing as rapidly as it appeared. "Just the usual nonsense here at the old family homestead."

Remus shoves in close so he can see Harry's face. "Why?"

Harry blinks, like he can't believe he's seeing the two of them. "I, I had a vision that Voldemort was torturing you at the Department of Mysteries."

"What happened to your Occlumency lessons?" Sirius growls. "I'm going to kill Snivellus this time, I swear."

"Shut up, Sirius." Remus elbows him roughly. "It sounds like a trap, Harry. I'm glad you contacted us instead of going off half-cocked and getting yourself killed."

Harry still looks like he's going to have an aneurysm. "You're sure you're all right?"

"As all right as I ever am," Sirius answers. "Listen, let us get in touch with Dumbledore, and then we'll have another chat."

"Don't do anything stupid," Remus adds. "Stay where you are and wait for us to call you back." 

Sirius nods. "Please, Harry. For me."

"Yeah," Harry says, calmer now. "Yeah, of course." He turns to Hermione. "I guess you were right."

In the background, Ron says, "Don't say it, Hermione. Just don't say it."

"We'll talk to you in a few minutes," Sirius says. "It's so good to hear from you."

"Okay," Harry says, and Remus is reminded of the nights that James and Sirius would spend hours just trying to get the other one to sign off first, so he waves goodbye to Harry and takes the mirror away from Sirius. 

"After we talk to Albus, I'm going to kill Snape," Sirius says conversationally. "I thought those Occlumency lessons were supposed to stop things like this from happening."

"Did you really expect those lessons to go well?" Remus asks, surprised.

"No, I reckon I didn't. Still, though. That was a close one."

"Yeah," Remus says, pressing a kiss to Sirius's stubbly cheek. "But Harry's safe and you're safe. Let's give Dumbledore an update and figure out what to do next."

"Okay," Sirius says, turning to give Remus a less chaste kiss before they head to the Floo.

*

vi.

Everything stops for a moment as Sirius falls, tumbling weightlessly through the veil. Harry screams and Remus grabs him and holds hard, keeping him from following. He couldn't save James and Lily, he can't save Sirius and he hadn't even known Peter was lost, but he can save Harry.

The fight continues on around them, flashes of red and green, curses shouted and cast, but Remus is frozen in place, staring at the fluttering veil that's stolen Sirius from him again.

"SIRIUS!" Harry yells, his body heaving in an angry sob, and Remus wants to sob with him, wants to rail against fate and the universe and everything that's taken Sirius away. "SIRIUS!" He struggles viciously in Remus's grip and it's all Remus can do to hold him.

"He's gone, Harry. There's nothing we can do." His voice breaks and he has to blink back furious tears, his fingers tightening on Harry's robes.

"I don't believe you," Harry shouts. "He's not--He's not--"

Loud barking interrupts and Padfoot comes barreling around from behind the veil, his black fur rimed with frost and his eyes rolling white.

"SIRIUS!" Harry bellows again, and Remus echoes him weakly, finally releasing him. Harry meets Padfoot halfway and drops to his knees, oblivious to the fighting around them, and Remus follows, the two of them clutching at Padfoot and sobbing into his fur.

"What--What--" is all Remus can manage and Padfoot barks ferociously in response, shaking them off and heading straight for Bellatrix. His paws hit her shoulders, knocking her backwards, and Remus and Harry race after him, wands at the ready. 

"Got you now, Bellatrix," Harry snarls, and the other Death Eaters start disappearing, as if they know the fight is lost. "The prophecy is gone, Sirius is still alive, and you're going back to Azkaban." He raises his other hand to press against his scar. "I don't think your boss is very happy with you right now."

"That's enough, Harry," Dumbledore says from behind them. "No one likes a gloating winner."

"Yes, sir," Harry says, but he doesn't look sorry at all. Remus doesn't blame him.

Sirius doesn't turn back into a man until Bellatrix and a few of the other Death Eaters are trussed up and marched away, but when he does, neither Remus nor Harry will let him go.

"That was a close one," Remus murmurs later, in the warm dark of their bed. 

"Yeah," Sirius says with a shudder. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Okay," Remus says, draping himself over Sirius and rolling his hips. "We don't have to talk."

Sirius grins rakishly in response.

end


End file.
